Fairy Tale
by ShadesofDeath
Summary: my crack at humor, SasoxDei, characters: Masashi Kishimoto title explains everything all other chacters belong to rightful owners
1. Fairy Tale

**this is my try at humor again, i hope you like it and tell me what you think. it will be about six chapies long, and this is a treat or my brithday, for you guys so enjoy! **

A small boy looked up to scary man, most other children ran away from. The man looked down at the boy with his piercing green eye's,

"What?" the small boy smiled,

"What's a fairytale?" the man look at the boy with a dull look,

"you don't know what a fairytale is?" the boy shook his head, "Who else doesn't know what a fairytale is?" all the kids stopped and looked him. Most scared, others could care less what he had to say. But out of the goodness of their small hearts, and the fact they didn't want to get in trouble, all raised their hands. "So none of you know what a fairytale is?" they all shook their heads, "God now I have to teach something…come here." the teacher walked to an old rocking chair and took a seat, and watched as the small children took a seat around him.

He smacked himself, why did he take a job as a teacher again? He hated kids, he hated reading, and writing, the only thing he didn't hate about this job was the money. He pulled a book off the shelf, and opened to the first page.

"Once apon a time in a far away land lived…"

"What the heck is this?!"

"It's a fairytale dumb ass."

"Pick a different one."

"No, this is a fairytale, we're reading this one."

"What about this one…." a black haired boy walked over to the shelf and pulled out a large book, "Fairytale…" the teacher pulled the book away from the boy,

"You don't want to read that one…"

"Yeah we do, come on, read it read it read it." it slowly turned into a chant, and the teacher went back to the thinking of money.

"Ok shut the hell up, I'll read it, but I'm warning you now, you will all regret it, and probably never be the same again…" he opened the book,

"Most of you have read fairytales about a princess being trapped in a castle and a heroic prince saved her, and they fell in love. Well this is a fairytale that will make you look at other fairytales in a new light…

"My most trusted knight , I want you to go to the castle and slay the dragon that is holding our daughter captive. And in return you can have my daughters hand in marriage." the knight looked up through his red bangs, muddy eye's never showing any emotions.

"Yes my lord." he had never seen their daughter, just a few glimpses of her. All he knew is she had blonde hair and blue eye's. but it couldn't be that hard, how many princesses could be trapped by a dragon in a castle?

"Here take this with you, it will lead you to her, and back. This is the all mighty and wise dragon Hidan." the king threw the small snake like creature at the red head,

"Yo, what up bitch?" the red head glanced over the…thing, and dropped it.

"Do I really need it?"

"Yes Sasori, it will help you in your journey. Now leave." the king waved his hand. Sasori walked away. The small dragon hopped up and ran after him,

"Yo, bastard, you forgot me!"

"The king wants me to kill a dragon, and gives me a dragon, how ironic! By the way my name is Sasori not bitch or bastard."

"Well I don't care fucktard."

"Is this appropriate to be reading in school?" the teacher pulled the book down, so he could see over the book,

"shut the hell up, you wanted me to read this fucking book, so shut up and be happy!"

"Do I really need a dragon to find my way, it can be that hard to find a castle with a dragon."

"It's a really hard task, not many people can find it without…"

"Really…" Hidan looked up at the castle, "see if you didn't have me…"

"Yeah whatever, where the hells' the dragon?" Sasori walked into the entrance. He glanced around, "Where's the princess located?"

"Hell if I know…"

"I thought you were a almighty and wise dragon who would lead me to the princess and back." the small dragon broke into a roar of laughter,

"Yeah right, the fucktard lied to you just to get me the hell away from him. Me wise…" the laughter continued. Sasori rolled his eye's, and tuned to face the direction they were heading. Air blew by his face, and a loud roar emitted from it mouth, almost deafening the red head. Hidan jumped at the sound and landed on Sasori's face.

"Ahhhhh…." Sasori pried at the small dragon, finally yanking him off his face.

"What the heck is your problem?"

"That's one fucking big dragon!"

"You're a dragon…" the dragon watched as they fought,

"I am the all mighty nine-tailed dragon!"

"shut the hell up, I need to teach this bastard a lesson."

"Oh I would like to see you try!" Hidan tackled the red head to the floor, and began clawing at his face.

"Ow!" Sasori threw the dragon off him and body slammed him. The nine-tailed dragon watched in amusement.

"yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks! Face!"

"You gonna take that little man?" Nine-tails looked at Hidan.

"Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run by her screaming FREE WILLY!"

"Ohhhhh…"

"Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for their new world!"

"That's a burn!"

"Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I cant hear the stereo!" crickets, lots of crickets.

"Hands down Sasori beat your scrawny ass."

"Ok now that that's settled, may get on to slaying the dragon?" Hidan nodded.

"oh it cant be that hard to find the castle with a dragon…" Hidan rambled on,

"Hey at least I found one!"

"Ya the wrong fucking one! Does that even look like the princess?" Sasori turned to the girl that was following them,

"You saved me!" she screamed and tackled the red head. Before she could touch him, he jumped out of the way. The girl was hurled off the cliff, followed by a splash. They both ran over to the edge, and peeked over. The girl was in the ocean,

"Help me!!!!!" the water moved and a water dragon swooped out of the water and ate her.

"Shou…"

"NO just keep walking…"

"Yeah I like that idea…"

"I thought this was a fairytale?"

"It is, now can I finish the infernal thing?"

"Yeah…but why were they having a yo mama contest?"

"It's best if you don't ask questions."

"I'm so close to throwing you over that cliff, now where the hell is the princess?"

"I don't know, she wasn't in any of the last five fucking castle we slayed the damn dragon to, so take a pick we have twenty more!" Sasori glanced around and sighed. They were surrounded by castles. He was really sick of slaying dragons, and even sicker of it being the wrong princess.

"Why don't we ask for directions, oh that's right, you were supposed to be my directions!" Hidan waddled out to the middle of the group of castle,

"Yo, which fucking castle belongs to princess Deidara?" a bunch of girls stuck their heads out of the castles,

"Deidara's castle is right there!" one pointed out,

"Thank you." Sasori headed towards the castle,

"I never would have picked this one, it doesn't have a dragon." a young blonde, and bright blue eyed girl stuck her head out the window,

"Hello!"

"Are you princess Deidara?"

"In a way yes un!"

"Thank God!"

"Jashin!!!!!!!"

"Whatever, where is your dragon?"

"Oh I blew it up a while ago un!"

"Then why are you still in there?" the blonde giggled,

"There's no door un!"

"Jump and I will catch you!"

"Awwwww…" all the princesses trapped in the castles sighed, "How romantic!" Sasori walked under the window, and waited for the blonde to jump. Deidara sat on the ledge, and waited. Deidara jumped out of the window. Sasori caught the small blonde, and placed her on her feet.

"Do you have a knife un?" Sasori nodded, and handed the knife to her. She smiled, and ripped at her dress.

"Princess Deidara, please keep you clothes on."

"No that's ok take the damn things off."

"Princess don't listen to him." Sasori picked up the dragon, and threw him against the castle.

"I'm not a princess…" the dress dropped around her ankles. Under was a pair of pants and a shirt, "I'm a prince un." Sasori's jaw dropped, Hidan busted into a round of laughter.

"Bet you didn't see that coming dickhead!" Just then the castle crumbled and landed on him.

"I never got to thank you un." Deidara walked over to Sasori, pulling his helmet off, and leaned up to kiss him. Sasori put his hand in front of his mouth,

"That's ok, we should get going" Deidara jumped up and down,

"Ok un!"

"Oh, I'm fucking fine, don't worry about me, I cant feel my damn legs!"

**so what did you think crapy right, well dont worry, i'm working on other stories to make you guys happy. R&R**


	2. Racoons and Smiles

**Enjoy chapie two!**

"no I think we should go this way!"

"I think it's this way un." they both looked at Hidan, who was setting on Sasori's shoulder,

"Don't look at me, the damn GPS broke!" Hidan threw the device against the tree. They all sighed,

"Can we stop for the night un?" Hidan jumped off the red head's shoulders,

"Of course." he lead him to a small clearing in the forest. Deidara smiled, and glanced around,

"I'll go find berries and fruit if you and Hidan want to get wood un!" the chipper ness of the blondes voice was enough for Sasori to rip his ears out, but at the same time soothed him.

"No please take Hidan with you…" the blonde smiled, and headed off. Hidan snickered,

"I love you dick, sending me off with the cutie!"

"That cutie is a guy."

"I don't care, he has one good ass!" and Hidan scampered off. Sasori sighed, yeah the blonde was cute, but he was a guy! A guy for god-er-Jashin's sake! Sasori felt something in the pit of his stomach as he saw the blonde smile and laugh at the small reptile. He growled and stumbled off to find wood.

Sasori sat around the fire that he had just started. A very girlish scream sounded from the forest, and he turned to find a small silver dragon running towards him. He jumped up, and watched him run by,

"what the…" he turned to find a rabid raccoon chasing towards him. He took off running after that dragon, screaming.

"I'm really sorry, it was my fault he attacked un."

"No it's fine…" Deidara had finished bandaging Hidan, and was now working on the red head. Deidara began undoing the red head's shirt, but Sasori stopped him,

"But your all cut up on your chest un."

"It's fine…"

"No it's not un." he pulled off the cutest puppy dog face either of them had ever seen, and Sasori removed his hands from the blondes. Deidara clapped and straddled his lap,

"What are you doing..?"

"I can clean it better this way un!" Sasori turned bright red, and hid his face,

"My my dickhead, your face is as red as your hai…" Sasori picked the dragon up by his throat, and threw him deep in the forest. Deidara lifted his face,

"Are you running a fever too un!?" Deidara placed his forehead against Sasori's. if it was possible, he got redder. "You don't feel warm un…" Deidara just shrugged, and pulled his shirt off. His blue eye's scanned his body, and he became self conscience. "What are these other scars from un?" he ran his hand gently over his tone body, tracing a scar that went from his right nipple to the left side of his hip.

"I was in a lot of wars…"

"That must have been awful un…" Sasori nodded a little. Deidara placed the herbal medicine on the cuts, and bandaged them. Once done, Sasori looked more like a mummy then human. Deidara broke into a round of giggles.

"What?"

"You look like a mummy un!" he said between giggles. He sighed and laid his head on Sasori's shoulder.

"Your beautiful when you laugh." oh my god did I just say that out loud? Sasori thought. Deidara pulled his head up, and looked into his muddy eye's. A smiled broke out on his face, and he tackled hugged the red head. Sasori stiffened, then slowly slid his arms around his waist.

"Why are we reading about two guys hugging?"

"Ewww…gay guys!"

"Hey! My parents are gay!"

"There's a surprise…" Kakuzu was close to beating his head against the wall, and taking that job at Wal Mart as a door greeter.

"Let me read the infernal book!!!!!!!!!" all the kids fell silent, "Thank you."

"Ow…ow…MOTHER FUCKING OW!" Hidan walked out of the forest pulling thrones out of his butt. He spotted the two, "What the hell!?" Deidara pulled away,

"Oh Hidan, your hurt un!" he rushed over to the dragon, and cradled him in his arms. Hidan smiled at the red head, and stuck his tongue out. Sasori rolled his eye's.

Deidara smiled, and ate the fish that was offered.

"Where's mine?"

"You don't get one." Deidara watched in amusement as they fought over the fish. He smiled,

"Here Hidan, you can have mine un."

"No that's fine, give me the damn fish dickhead!"

"Sasori eat mine, and give Hidan the fish, I'll eat berries un."

"No, find your own damn fish!" and Hidan became a silver blur, and he splashed into the river. Deidara giggled as Hidan stepped out of the river, with fish in hand,

"Haha! Ow!" the fish smacked him in the face with his tail, and dove back into the water, "I'm going to sacrifice you to Jashin!" and he dove back in.

Sasori laid a blanket down,

"You can sleep here Deidara…"

"Where will you sleep un?"

"Over there…" Deidara grabbed his hand,

"Non-sense, there's plenty of room here, besides we'll all be warmer this way un!" Sasori pulled out of his grasp,

"No, that's fine…" Hidan jumped up,

"I'll sleep with you…"

"Ok, because Sasori has to be a butt, come on Hidan un!" Deidara curled up under the cover, and pulled Hidan to his chest. Sasori sighed, before taking his shirt off, and laying down beside them. Deidara smiled, "Yay! It will be just like a slumber party un!" Sasori smiled, at the cuteness of the blonde. "OMG you smiled, your so beautiful when you smile un!" he smile disappeared. Deidara scooted closer, and placed his hands on his bare chest.

"Please smiled again un!"

"No." Deidara pouted,

"please…." he was able to pull of the cutest puppy face in the world. And before he knew it, he was smiling again. Deidara sucked in his breath, and leaned up to his face. Sasori froze, their lips were only inches apart. He could taste the sweetness of his breath, he could easily close the gap. Deidara inched slightly closer.

"What the heck is this, a porn book?!" Kakuzu rolled his eye's

"Just wait it gets worse…"

"Hey! Some dragons are trying to fucking sleep. You two were squishing the shit out of me!" he pushed Sasori's head away, and stood between them.

"I'm sorry Hidan un!" Deidara pulled Hidan to his chest. Hidan curled up in a ball. Deidara soon fell asleep. Sasori watched over the blonde, a smile broke out on his face as he watched the fire dance over Deidara features. The blonde shivered, and scooted closer to his personal space heater. Sasori stiffened. Deidara sighed, and snuggled into his chest.

The smile could be seen again, and his arm slinked around the blonde. And that was when he finally realized how small the blonde was. He pulled him closer, and watched the blonde, until his eye's drifted closed.

**...R&R**


	3. What the Jack?

**other characters that may appear in this chapie dont i repeat dont belong to me R&R**

Blue eye's cracked open, and he glanced around the small camp. Hidan was asleep on his chest, but the red head was no where to be seen. He lifted the dragon off his chest, and laid him on the ground. He stood up and went looking for him. He smiled when he saw the red head by the edge of the river. Deidara walked up and set beside him.

"Good morning un!"

"Good morning." he rung the rag out, and whipped it over his chest.

"Want me to wash your back un?" before the red head could answer, he grabbed the rag, and whipped it over his back. "Your so tense un." he dropped the rag, and massaged his shoulders. Sasori's eye's shot wide open as he felt the blondes soft hands on his skin. He moaned lightly. "Do you like that un?" he could feel the bulge in his pants,

"Dei go back and wake Hidan up, I have to do something." Deidara smiled and walked away. He did have something to do, he had a little problem to take care of.

"Hidan wake up!" Hidan jumped,

"What!?"

"We are getting ready to leave un!" the small dragon looked around,

"Where's dickhead?"

"He had to take care of something un." the dragon rolled his eye's and walked off in search of the dickhead.

"How dare you walk off…WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" Sasori glared at him,

"What the hell dose it look like?" Hidan's eye twitched,

"I really don't want to answer…"

"Ok…well can you let me finish?" Hidan walked off,

"Is Sasori about ready un?"

"Yeah, in a minute he will be done jacking off, and we'll head off!"

"What is jacking off?" Kakuzu just shook his head and continued.

The road was long and dirty. Deidara sneezed.

"Sorry I have allergies un." Hidan just smiled from his spot on the red head shoulder.

"If you are going to do nothing then leave." Sasori threw the dragon up the road,

"Ow, what the…. What the hell is this?"

"Uh Shrek that looks like a dragon." they both stopped as a big green ogre and a donkey came into view,

"Is this your lizard?" the ogre asked.

"I'm not a fucking lizard, I am a damn dragon, and fucking scary dragon!"

"I have never seen that thing before in my life." Deidara smacked the red head,

"come here Hidan un." Hidan scampered away to the blonde.

"Hey can you tell us the way to Fiona, because someone has to be to much of a man to ask for directions?" the donkey stated looking up at the Shrek.

"Sorry, but if you keep heading that way you will find a whole crap load of castles, ask one of them."

"Maybe you can help me too, I'm looking for Neverland!" they all looked at the small flying boy in a green dress. The small group looked at each other, then at the boy.

They watched as the boy sailed down the ditch into the flame. Sasori high fived Shrek.

"ok thank you." after finding their way back to the road, they got directions from the ogre and headed on their way. "Glad that's over, that darn fairy thing wouldn't shut up, and the donkey!"

"yeah I love everything and that donkey even got under my skin un!" Deidara punched a tree and it snapped in half. Sasori and Hidan both stared at him, gaping.

"That was fucking hot!"

"I…I'll be right back…" Sasori ran off into the trees. Deidara took a deep breath and turned around with his usual smiled,

"Where did Sasori go un?"

"He had a hot date…" Deidara's face fell.

"So he doesn't like me un…" he muttered under his breath.

"Damn the blonde for being so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!"

They had finally stopped for the night, and if it was true that Sasori had a date, the blonde was plotting to stop that. Deidara decided to take a bath in the lake as they fixed the food. He swam under the cool water, it felt good to be out of that castle.

Sasori and Hidan walked to the lake to find the blonde so they could eat. As soon as they could see the lake, the blonde emerged. Deidara had his back to them, wet hair sticking to his back, the water just covering his butt. Water splashed everywhere, and he threw his hands to his hair.

Sasori and Hidan stood in the bushes gaping at him. They could see ever detail of his pale skin when he raised his hair to wring it out.

"This is a porn book!"

"Better porn then having to read one of those childes book!"

Deidara turned and saw them, he smiled, and walked towards them. Sasori and Hidan turned around. Hidan peeked back at him, but Sasori smacked him.

"Sasori un!" He turned to see the blonde sitting on the edge of the lake. He could feel his pants get tight when he saw the naked blonde. He walked over to him, and looked away,

"what do you want?"

"Sit with me un." Sasori sighed and sat beside him,

"Look at me Sasori un." Sasori turned to look at him, he turned red, and looked away, "Sasori you don't have to be nervous, were both men un."

"Yeah, but I would fell better if you covered up." he took his shirt off, and covered his lower area's. Deidara humped, and walked away. Hidan smiled,

"Did you see the package he had? It was fuck…"

"Shut up…" He walked off into the bushes. Deidara came back with a pair of pants on,

"Where's Sasori un?"

"He has another fucking date…" Hidan walked back to camp, and Deidara froze, '_so he really didn't like me un…' _

**R&R**


	4. Good Morning You Owe Me

**Ok here's another, hope you guys are enjoying this. i worked really hard on the humor so enjoy.**

Muddy eye's opened, and he could feel the covers moving. He pulled the covers up and saw Hidan trying to get in the blondes pants. He reached down, and at that point the blue eye's opened,

"What are you doing un?" Sasori shot his eye's up to met the blondes.

"He was trying to get in your fucking pa…" Hidan busted out of the cover, Sasori quickly grabbed him and threw him.

"Why were you trying to get in my pants un."

"Um…oh where I am from…that's how we say good morning." "Good cover…" Hidan could be heard in the background. Deidara smiled,

"Oh," he shoved his hands down Sasori's pants, "Good morning then un!" The blonde jumped up and went for food. Sasori laid their wide eyed, did that just really happen. He could feel his pants getting tight.

Deidara walked back to the camp, but couldn't find the red head anywhere.

"Where's Sasori un?" Hidan huffed,

"Do you really need the fucktard when you have me?" Deidara just looked around, "Let it be, he probably has another fucking date!" Anger boiled in the blonde, he stormed into the forest and found the red head with ease. His eye's widened when he saw what he was doing. His pants were down and his hands were wrapped around his member.

"So this is a porn book!!!!!!!!!!"

"You sick old man!"

"Shut up or I throw you all into a pit, so you want me to finish or what?" they were silent and he continued.

Deidara walked back to the clearing quickly, his face blood red.

"Yo what happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it un." Sasori ran out of the bushes later,

"Deidara, I… why… you weren't supposed to see that."

"It's ok un." his voice was shaky, and he was trembling. Deidara grabbed his small bag and headed for the road, they followed.

"Why are you walking away?"

"I need to clear my head un. And the sooner we get there the sooner I can let you get back to your fun un." Sasori caught him,

"what do you mean?"

"Do you think I'm blind un? I'm not un."

"You don't understand…"

"Save it un."

They walked in silence till they stopped that night. Deidara didn't eat, and curled up by a tree. He wouldn't come when it was time to sleep. Sasori waited till the blonde was asleep. He picked him up and laid him down in the covers next to him. Pulling him close the three fell asleep.

Deidara turned over, and noticed Sasori's bare chest. He snuggled closer to it, and sighed,

"Are you awake?" Deidara stiffened, he didn't want to be caught getting close to him. "Eh, whatever." he wraped his hands around the blondes slim waist and pulled him close. He kissed the blonde hair, and tucked his head under his chin. Deidara was just happy to be around him.

"Wake up fuckers!!!!!!!!!!!!" Hidan ran up banging on a pot and pan. Deidara jumped and clung to Sasori, ducking his head in his chest. Sasori picked up the small dragon and threw him.

"Damn lizard…" He glanced down at the blonde, who was still cowering in his chest. "You ok Deidei?" Deidara smiled,

"Yeah, just a little shaken Danna un." Sasori blinked,

"Danna?" Deidara mentally slapped himself.

"Yeah you saved me and such so you're my master now un." Sasori smiled, and gently kissed him on his forehead. Deidara blushed madly and hid his head in the covers. Sasori stood, stretching. Deidara glanced up, and regretted it. He could see every curve of his body, he was small but muscular, and his pants hung low on his hips. A little too low. He covered his nose.

Sasori turned to the blonde when he heard a moan. Deidara ducked his head back in the blankets when their eye's met. Sasori walked back over to him,

"what's wrong?" Deidara shook his head under the blankets. Sasori straddled the blonde. Deidara gasped, and sat up. That was when Sasori could see the blood trickling out of his nose. Sasori rolled his eye's, and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Come with me."

The blood had finally stopped, and now Sasori was washing away the blood. Sasori smiled as he finished washing away the red liquid.

"Sorry about that Danna un…" Sasori smiled and scooted closer,

"It's fine…" Deidara glanced over and inwardly moan. God…err…Jashin, why did he have to be so tone? "You know I like it when you call me Danna Deidei…" Deidara looked up and their faces were so close. Deidara leaned up,

"I love it when you call me Deidei…" Sasori could taste the blondes breath, it was all he could do not to attack him. He leaned down more,

"Deidei…"he breathed.

"Danna…" He was close to closing the gap, and just as he was going to, something scalely was placed to his lips. He opened his blue eye's and they were met with the purple one's of Hidan. Deidara scrambled away,

"Ahhh that was nice…" Hidan sighed and walked away. Sasori laughed and pulled Deidara to his feet, pulling him close.

"You ok?"

"Besides the taste of dragon, yeah un." Sasori leaned down,

"Maybe I can fix that…"

"Maybe…." He leaned up,

"Come on fuckers, we have to head out!" they sighed and headed back to the camp. Deidara found himself watching Sasori all the time. Not watching where he was going the blonde ran into a tree.

"Ow…" Sasori ran over to him.

"Damn, fucking tree!" Hidan ran and attacked the tree. Deidara held his face. Sasori pulled his hands away from his face,

"It looks like nothing…" Sasori was smacked in the face with, and knocked to the ground by a dragon. Hidan jumped back up and went to attack the tree. Deidara giggled and helped him up. Sasori stumbled, but Deidara caught him. Sasori leaned down, and Deidara smiled leaning up.

"Holly mother of fuck!" Sasori screamed, as Hidan latched onto his nuts. Sasori hopped away, and yanked Hidan off. "That fucking hurt!"

"Well it didn't taste to damn good either!"

"What is your damn problem?"

"I don't like you so close to my Dei…"

"Your Dei, excuse me, but I was supposed to marry him."

"Fuck that! He likes me more." Sasori growled, and walked away. Hidan tackled him from behind. Sasori yelled, and fell. In a ball of dust they fought. Yelps, growls, and mashing sounds could be heard. Deidara popped his head from behind a bush, and found them,

"What are you two doing un?" they both stopped with each other in a head lock.

"Nothing…" They both said simultaneously. Deidara put his hands on his hips, then spotted Sasori's bloody face.

"Oh Danna…" he rushed over to him, and cupped his face.

"Danna…?" Hidan ask as he was pushed out of the way. Deidara gently whipped the blood away. Hidan was jealous, he looked at his arm, "Oh my arm, I think it's broke!" Deidara never removed his eye's,

"Hold on a minute un…" he finished whipping off the blood, "You ok Danna un?" Sasori smiled,

"Yeah, thank you." Deidara gently kissed his forehead,

"That's good un…" he whispered against his skin. Sasori never thought he would say it, but he loved the feel he got around the blonde. He could feel his heart thudding, and he was blushing,

"Go help that pathetic thing…" Deidara stood, and walked over to the dragon. Sasori watched as the blonde helped the dragon. What was this feeling in his chest, it felt like it was going to explode, in a good way. He felt the blush cross his cheeks as he watched the blonde. Did he like him, but what did it matter, the blonde wouldn't like him back. Eh, but he did owe him for saving him, this could be fun…

**hehe what does Sasori have planed for the blonde? kuku R&R to find out**


	5. Pay Up

**ok the next chapie is th last but i'm working on a nother humor story. i hope it turns out ok, it's pretty weird like sifi ish. but it will be funny. R&R people and you get a cookie! dont R&R and may Jashin have mercy on your soul! PS other chatacters belong to their rightful owners!**

They made camp that night, if Sasori calculated it right they had three days and they would be back at the castle. Sasori laid on the ground, with his shirt off, staring at the stars. Deidara curled up beside him,

"Danna?"

"Yes Deidei?"

"I'm cold un…" the blonde whined.

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"Keep me warm un." Deidara pouted. Sasori looked at him, then back at the speckled sky,

"Convince me." the blonde smirked, and straddled the red head's waist. Sasori looked at him dully. Deidara leaned down and kissed Sasori's neck, up to his ear,

"Please keep me warm Danna…" he kissed to the edge of the red heads lips. "I'll make it worth your while un." then kissed the red head's lips. Sasori flipped their positions and licked the blondes lips. Deidara opened his mouth and let the tongue explore. He mewed lightly as a wet muscle brushed against his. He loved the taste of the red head.

"It might just be me but I don't like reading about gay guys." Kakuzu rolled his eye's.

"I take offence to that." a blonde kid said from the middle of the room. They all looked at him and said,

"Yes we know your parents are gay!" the blonde boy shrunk back.

"What the hell is this a fucking orgy?!" Sasori rolled off the blonde and looked at the silver dragon. Deidara chuckled and pulled the dragon to his chest. Sasori wrapped his arm around the blonde and tucked the blonde hair under his chin. The blonde kissed the hollow of his Danna's neck,

"G'night Danna…"

"Night."

Sasori dumped the bucket of water on the fire, and turned back to the sleeping blonde. A smile broke across the red heads face. He sat beside the blonde and watched him sleep. Deidara moved under the covers and moaned,

"Danna…" Sasori could feel himself get slightly hard at the sound. Deidara's eye's cracked open. He blinked a few times and focused on the red head. The blonde smiled,

"Morning un…"

"Morning Dei." Deidara sat up and the tiny silver dragon tumbled down his chest. "If you want to sleep more you can."

"No that's fine un." Deidara stated as he stretched. Sasori packed the stuff and headed out. They walked till they found a dirt road. While they were walking on the road when a rattling from behind got louder and louder. Sasori turned just in time to grab the blonde and jump out of the way a white carriage with white horses. A blonde headed girl stuck her head out the window and yelled to the drive.

"Hurry we have to get to the ball before midnight!" Sasori shook his fist and said,

"what's the rush, you going to turn into a pumpkin or something?"

"Um Sasori un?" Sasori turned back to the blonde. Deidara was looking at where his leg was. Deidara's leg was between Sasori's. "Danna, are you horny un?" Sasori turned a bright red. Deidara smirked. "I can take care of that un."

Deidara leaned up to Sasori's neck and kissed it, "Take me Danna un." Sasori pushed him back against a tree, you didn't have to tell him twice. He yanked Deidara's shirt off, and kissed all over his body. He got to the pant line and yanked them down. He stood back up and kissed the blondes lips. Deidara made way with the red head's shirt, and yanked on his pants.

Sasori stuck three fingers in the blondes mouth,

"Suck." Deidara did, coating all his fingers with saliva. Sasori pulled them out, and placed them at his entrance. He stuck one finger in. the blonde grunted, he moved the finger around then added another. By the time he pulled all three fingers out the blonde was panting. Deidara looked at his with half lidded eye's. Sasori kissed the blonde one last time before turning him around and pushing in.

Deidara moaned out and sunk his fingers into the tree, he turned his head to the side,

"Danna…it hurts…un…" he panted out. Sasori kissed his shoulder,

"I know, it will get better soon…" he began a slow pace. Deidara felt a tear poke at the corner of his eye. Sasori kissed it away, and picked up his pace. Deidara got used to the sliding motion and begged his Danna to go faster. Sasori did. Deidara threw his head back and moaned. The red head wrapped his hand around his blondes member and stroked it.

"And that is why I wanted to become a real boy…" Deidara and Sasori turned to see a small puppet watching them,

"Damn…t-that puppet is as a-annoying as H-Hidan un…" Deidara reached his climax and released. His muscle tightened around Sasori, and he released in him. Sasori rested his head on the blondes sweaty back,

"that was amazing un…" Sasori kissed Deidara, then pulled out fixing his clothes.

"Your glowing with after vibes love." Sasori kissed the blondes red cheek as they continued on their way.

Purple eye's opened, and gazed around the small campsite. Hidan couldn't find hide nor hair of the red head or Deidara. His scream could be heard from miles,

"DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

**hehe... that was funny, ok hope you enjoy the next chapie and this one R&R would be nice.**


	6. Really

**yo peeps this is the last chapie, so i hope you all enjoyed and i would like to thank everone who reviewed and favorited. it means alot and without further ado, Fairy Tale the end**

"Fucking red head, fucking blonde, fuck it all!" the small dragon walked down the road, hoping this was the way back to the castle. He crossed his arms and humped. He really hated being alone, it was scary. Hidan stopped, there, sitting by a tree were the blonde and the red head. He smirked evilly. He pulled out a pair of symbols and walked over to the sleeping couple.

He smashed them really loud, but nothing. He growled and pulled out a bagpipe, still nothing. Next a trumpet, and again nothing.

"Jashin what does it take to wake you two up?"

"Hidan, shut up…" the red head growled, and glared at the dragon.

"Hidan, where have you been un?" the blonde ask scratching his eye's.

"Back at the campsite where you left me!"

"Sorry un." Sasori stood up and pulled the blonde with him. "My back…" Sasori smirked,

"Sorry…" and he kissed Deidara's cheek.

"You fucked him while I was gone didn't you?"

"Maybe…" they walked away.

An hour later they were back at the castle.

"Who is this?" the king asked, looking the blonde over.

"Prince Deidara as you asked, why didn't you tell me he was a boy?"

"I sent you after Princess Derinda, not Deidara." Sasori looked at the blonde,

"Oops." Deidara smirked, "Well I'm marring him anyways." Deidara hugged the red head, and they left the castle to start a life all their own, with the annoyance of a small silver dragon.

Shrek walked up to a castle,

"are you princess Fiona?"

"If I say yes will you get me down?" Derinda asked?

The bell ran and the kids rushed to the door. Deidara and Sasori stepped into the room waiting on their little Suko. Deidara smiled as the small blonde ran to him. Deidara picked up the small boy and kissed his forehead.

"Kakuzu read us a fairytale today, and you two where in it!"

"Really un…" Deidara glanced at Sasori. Sasori nodded, and walked over to Kakuzu. "Lets go for a walk shale we un?" Deidara walked out the door. In the background you could hear,

"They asked! Konan wrote it! Not me! That hurts!" Sasori walked back out with the book,

"remind me to never give Konan beer again at the Christmas parties." Deidara smiled and kissed the red head,

"You know, I wouldn't mind reliving that night un." Sasori smiled, and led them to the car.

**hehe, and so ends this story, i hope everyone liked it and i would love to see alot of reviews R&R**


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